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The Experience of Separation
You’re probably visiting this page because you’re experiencing separation.
Maybe your marriage has ended or perhaps your long-term relationship has come to an end. Maybe you’re contemplating separation but haven’t made any steps toward making that happen just yet.
Whatever you’re feeling right now, it’s important for you to know that there is time to work out the finer details of your separation and right now it’s important that you focus on you.
I encourage my clients to enter into something called a ‘holding pattern’ in the early stages of separation. It’s very possible that if you’ve been contemplating separation for a while, or are already separated, you have begun to do day-to-day things independently from your partner. If that’s the case, keep doing what you’re doing, just make sure there is a plan for money to continue to be in the places you would usually need it to be and the kids are able to continue their routine as it has been.
In the early stages of your separation, remember to look after yourself.
Getting Legal Advice for Your Separation
After a couple separates there are two main areas that need to be considered; property and parenting matters. Property matters concern dividing a couple’s assets, child support and spousal maintenance. Parenting matters concern the children’s living arrangements and the time they spend with both of their parents. Family Lawyers can help with all of these things.
A family law matter will usually take the following steps; first, information gathering (about assets and important information about the children), you will then receive advice about the legal aspects of your family law matters, next you embark on one of a number of resolution pathways (mediation, collaboration, the court process and more) and finally your agreement will be documented in order for it to be finalised.
I am a collaboratively trained family lawyer which means I have been accredited to assist family law clients in the Collaborative Process. The Collaborative Process is a type of family law practice which allows all parties to come together and discuss the issues and needs of their family in a bespoke way, with open dialogue. The Collaborative Process enlists the help of financial and dispute resolution professionals to reach an agreement that works for everyone.
Due to my collaborative training I have been taught to think outside the box and favour an amicable, creative and caring approach to family law always, whether my clients are embarking on the Collaborative Process or not.
A Young Person’s Perspective
In the time I have been helping clients through separation I have identified that I work particularly well with young people.
I believe that a person under 30 will experience separation differently to others. When a young person separates they are dealing with the end of a shorter relationship or marriage, they may have very young children and they face a sort of pressure from the world around them of what ‘could have been’. All of this, coupled with all of the guessing and testing that comes with being a young person, separating whilst still young is a tough gig.
Being in my twenties myself, I believe I can better understand what motivates my young clients, how being young might effect their future goals and needs and how that might change the agreement they ultimately reach with their partner.
If you’re young and separating, do get in touch and see how having a lawyer with the perspective of someone your own age on your team can help you.
I often write about the young persons approach to separation on my blog…